I am 38 years old and my wife is 32. We have been married for six years and we have a five-year-old child. I love my wife, but I am starting to think I love her more as a friend.
She is a good homemaker and a wonderful mother, but she isn’t that educated or sophisticated.
Over the years I have furthered my studies and because of my job I socialise a lot. Most of the time my wife does not join me because I feel she might be uncomfortable and not know how to socialise. I feel as if I have moved forward and she has been left behind.
I met a woman at a company functions. She is a colleague’s wife. I know this sounds stupid, but I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her. She is beautiful, intelligent and sophisticated. She seemed to be very interested in me too and we spent most of the evening talking.
She gave me her cell number and said I should contact her. I thought this was an indication that she wanted to meet me again. I phoned her, but she either doesn’t take my call or says she is in a meeting and can’t speak.
I am getting so frustrated. I want is to see her. I honestly believe we could have a future together.
What should I do? – Anon, Johannesburg
ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU:
You are risking so much by pursuing this woman – your family, career and reputation. You are being so unfair and demeaning to your wife.
A marriage is a partnership. You work together to uplift each other. How is she meant to grow if you don’t show her that you believe in her and give her a chance to grow. You say that you love her, but the way you are behaving shows anything but this.
If you truly cared, she would be by your side and you would be guiding her through social situations.
How can you assume she will be uncomfortable? Have you ever discussed this with her?
How would you feel if someone did not give you a chance and just assumed you would be hopeless.Sowetanlive